When a Nap Changed Everything.
What a NICU Mom Taught Me About Surrender.
This was a story shared with me while I was in jail. I leaned on it many times since, and often shared it when I was in prison.
A mom gave birth to a son by emergency cesarean.
Her baby was whisked away to the NICU, and he was not doing well. She followed as soon as she was off the operating table, in pain both physically and emotionally, and stood vigil over her son.
Hours turned into days. He got worse. The wires and tubes were terrifying, but even beyond that — he just didn’t look good. This baby was dying.
The mom wasn’t doing well either. No real food, no real sleep, her body was breaking down. Still, she refused to leave his side. Her prayers were desperate: begging, bargaining, promising anything and everything. And yet, the little boy kept declining.
Finally, a moment came when she had to step away. Utter exhaustion overcame her. Before leaving, she poured out a thousand prayers and reluctantly left the room and laid down. Despite her dread and fear, she fell into a deep, healing sleep.
When she woke, she bolted back to the NICU. What she saw was completely different. The wires and monitors were still there, but her son’s color was glowing, his face alive. The nurses told her he had suddenly taken a turn for the better. Later, the doctor confirmed: he was making vast improvements.
Her belief about why it happened? She finally had to step away — and let God do the work.
She had believed she was keeping her son alive by staying at his side — that the moment she left, he would die. That fear kept her glued to his bedside. But when she surrendered, healing came.
Jesus said in Matthew 6, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” Worry doesn’t add — it steals. Faith, surrender, and rest create the space where we allow God to move.
In prison, our families live life without us. We worry our partners will move on. We fear our children won’t be safe. We wonder if we’ll be forgotten. I would see the struggle in my friends. Although walking around, they were "keeping vigil" with their thoughts and fears. Desperate prayers going up constantly. But like that mom, we’re not actually helping. We have no power. Instead, let God do the heavy lifting. Have faith in His plan.
Even now that I’m free, fears remain: health of my loved ones, my children’s happiness, relationships, politics, and future needs. But this story still steadies me. I don’t have to hold everything together. Sometimes the most faithful thing I can do is step back, trust, and let God do the work. This mom’s story is one example of God’s timing and mercy, not a formula. Sometimes healing comes in heaven rather than here on earth, but the call to trust Him remains the same.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11
Thank you for reading.
